Tell me why

I was 44 years old the first time I sang in public. This is the question I hear most when I tell people that I just started singing about eight months ago: "Why?"

The whys vary. Why did I start? Why didn't I start sooner? Why did I suddenly believe I could sing? Why did I get onstage that first night? Why do I keep doing it now? All good questions with a lifetime of answers both behind and in front of them.

Here's one answer that gets to the root of all the whys:
That's the living room in the house where I lived until I was eight years old. My mom's the one with the B-52s hairdo and the cocktail in her hand walking toward the camera. I loved the dress she's wearing in this picture. So did my dad. But I digress. That's my dad back there on the drums.

Here's another picture of them. My uncle was probably playing my dad's drums (poorly). My dad had apparently stopped playing the piano to pose for the snapshot: That's the piano I grew up with. That's the same piano I refused to learn to play. The same piano my dad and my grandma played everything from Danny Boy to Act Naturally on. The same piano that was sold during the divorce. That's the piano my mom remembers me crying over as the buyers rolled it out of our house.

My dad always wanted me to sing. Or play. Or both. He used to bring home records and play them on an old stereo we got at a hardware store called Western Auto. Of course, being the little shit that I was, I never wanted to do anything my parents wanted me to do.

My dad was a great ear musician. He could listen to something and pick it out on the piano almost immediately. He could also play just about any rhythm instrument. Mostly he played piano and drums, but before he died, he'd started getting pretty good on guitar, too.

I toyed with music when I was a kid. Rock and roll stuff. But nothing really serious. I never cared about music the way I do now. Not making music anyway. I was a listener. I can't think of a day in my life that I've been without music. Not one day.

To be continued...